You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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