tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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