You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize