this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I don't deserve a penis
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Randomize
