He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
