Can i not drive my cunt home
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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