You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
