This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
