I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
