he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
