dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
