I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Someone shattered a urinal.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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