Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The beer is more important than you right now.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
