Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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