There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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