Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Randomize
