if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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