Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
