hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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