my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
