yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
