gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
