The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
