i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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