I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
