Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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