If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
