this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
