I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
