You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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