is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
