i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
