You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
