Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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