quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
