i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
