those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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