I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
