Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
