he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize