Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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