Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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