There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i think i have two assholes
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
