why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
