why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.â€
Randomize
