im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Someone shit on the floor
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
