i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Im part way to drunk.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
