I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
