spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
