Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
