This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
