I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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