The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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