to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
